When thinking about something you are doing to help stop a certain behavior or encourage another one, ask yourself a very simple question:
“are you doing more of that something, or less?”
The answer will tell you if your “plan” is working.
This might sting a little, so hold on with me…this is important. Continue reading →
Photo by Tobyotter via Flickr
We all want our kids to behave well. We want them to do what they should and when they should do it. We want them to earn the spoils of behaving properly. We create some of these “spoils” ourselves in the form of sticker charts, trips to the ice cream shop or dollar bills.
But, are there situations when we try too hard to get our kids to earn what we have arranged? I think so. Continue reading →
photo by Matt Erasmus via Flickr
Sometimes parents tell me their behavior plan or reward system worked for a little while, but then stopped working. “He just didn’t care about it anymore,” they often say.
I always try to figure out why these things “fail” so I can help the next plan be more likely to succeed. Here is my list of the three reasons behavior plans fail: Continue reading →
photo by ngader via Flickr
“Am I always going to have to do this?”
Some parents might worry if you start a certain prevention strategy (e.g., bringing books to a restaurant) or a reward strategy (e.g., “Am I always going to have to give her these stickers for cleaning up her room?”), you will always have to keep doing it.
The concern, I think, is these “BehaviorBandAids” (if you will) take too much effort or attention to maintain over long periods of time. Another concern is, “at some point he needs to be able to do this just because and not because he gets something from me.”
I get it…I really do. Continue reading →