“So, here I am…A desperate single mom begging for help”

homework.

I recently responded to a friend’s request about a struggle she is having with her daughter. I think she was brave to say what others have not, so here is her email to me and my response to her within her email. It is long, but so are nights struggling with your child because he or she will not do homework! Please comment with your thoughts…

So, here I am… A desperate (embarrassed, possibly mortified) single mom begging for help…

My daughter has decided she won’t do class work in class. (she is in the second grade). The teacher puts them in groups to do the classwork, but she refuses to do it, or chats up the others, or coaxes them into not doing the work.  So, the teacher has had to put her at her own desk– I guess shaming her into compliance?– but my daughter acts like this is a reward.  And, still doesn’t do the work. When asked why she isn’t doing the work, she told the teacher “it is pointless”.  She now has a folder filled with “unfinished work” and the teacher is going to start giving her zeros…  If she does the work, it is rushed and done just to get to do something else– so she gets Cs on work for which she is capable of getting As.

My response: Does she appear to be motivated to avoid the zero? It seems she is not that motivated by the achievement of the A. Sometimes this can backfire if the zero is not aversive.  Continue reading

Advertisements

Should you bring your child’s school behavior home?

Having a bad day at school does not mean they have to have a bad day at home.

3:12 PM: Mary’s pouting face at car pickup is all her mom needs to know. Her bookbag is dragging behind her as she walks slowly to the car. NOT normal.

“Did you have a good day, honey?” her mother says, knowing the answer. “NO,” Mary is quick to answer. “Can I see your folder?”

As Mary flops the folder onto the console, her mother can read the teacher’s note and see the color drawn on the calendar.

“Red day, huh? Why did you hit Joshua on the playground today? It says here you had to be reminded to be a good friend several times today? You did have a bad day.”

“Red” days happen, but should your plan at home include behavior from school? Continue reading

Don’t worry about the kids…are you ready for school?

Image

Alright, whether you like it or not, the time is approaching. Get your new sneakers ready, get your notebooks secured in your binders and zip up that bookbag…schools almost back in session.

As the sun rises on a new school year, there are going to be new challenges, new breakthroughs, new pains, new gains. However, there are going to be many more things that you can predict will happen with great certainty: Continue reading