A parent marches over to a child who has misbehaved in some way. The parent clearly does not like what just happened and it shows. The footsteps increase in pace and in strength as the child winces.
“Im going to teach you a lesson, young man!”
When has it ever been a positive thing when someone says about a kid, “I’m going to teach that kid a lesson!” Maybe the best thing to do is look for opportunities to “teach a kid a lesson” when they have done something good. Think about that. Think about how many more “lessons” can be learned if you dont sit around and wait for the bad moments to happen.
See more about punishment…
What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Which would you rather your boss focus on? Well…there has been some research done that says bosses who focus on the strengths of their team members get incredibly more buy-in and productivity. A lot more. Unfortunately, there are still bosses that do performance reviews that focus on the negatives (weaknesses) instead of the positives (strengths).
What are your kid’s strengths? Are you focusing on those, or are you still too busy nit-picking the weaknesses?
For this week, focus on the strengths. Forget the weaknesses for just one week and see what happens.
See more about Tom Rath, author of several books including StrengthsFinder 2.0 and more.
See more from BehaviorBandAid…
I am always puzzled when people say a behavior occurred “out of the blue” or “came from nowhere.” I dont know if it is my professional side or my cynical side that makes me question that. If you get behaviors that occur “out of the blue,” you are probably missing something. Write it down or keep a log. You might find something…time of day, lack of sleep, hunger, presence or absence of something or someone, school days/non-school days, late lunch, early lunch…
Lesson? Dont be superstitious about your child’s behavior. Happy Friday 13th.
When it comes to reacting to a behavior you dont like (think about your kid hitting his sibling), are you “READY, FIRE, AIM” or “READY, AIM, FIRE?” Be honest. Sometimes we need a moment to figure things out before making a decision.
Sometimes it is harder to teach your kids to be away from you…you know what is harder? Always being there. Better start early…start with small steps. Gradually increase the distance. It will serve you, but more importantly, your child, when they can be independent.
For some time now, on the BehaviorBandAid.com Facebook page, I have been posting “thoughts of the day.” These are quick reminders, thoughts, inspirations, and “to-dos” for a variety of parenting situations. Given that some might not get to the Facebook page (you really should…a lot of cool stuff going on there), I am going to start posting them here. For those who subscribe to the website, you’ll get a quick note in your email or reader (if you dont subscribe, you really should…enter your email address on the right column of the webpage and join in). Thanks again for joining the fun.
Thought of the day 4/10/2012 –
So much of how we behave is about momentum. What way is your behavioral momentum going? How about your kid’s behavioral momentum? Can you change it? Yep…in both directions, so pay attention and use it if you can.
Photo by Clarkston SCAMP